are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
