if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
