So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
