Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
