so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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