It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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