Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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