You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
