VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
