Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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