I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
