OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
