her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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