Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
