walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
