No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Randomize
