you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
