they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
