I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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