WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize