I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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