he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
