you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize