yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
