Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
