dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
