We need to rekindle our bromance
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
