Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
