the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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