i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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