I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize