I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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