I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
