i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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