I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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