I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
