I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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