she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
