"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
