Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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