U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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