He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
