I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
