Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
