dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You were trust falling into bushes
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
