At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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