I wish I could teleport
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
