it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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