We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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