her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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