No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i wish my penis had a tongue
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
