I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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