I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
