with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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