it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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