my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
