I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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