i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
