i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
