12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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