After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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