dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
