Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
