I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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