Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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