Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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