I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
