Betty ford says i'm here all night
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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