Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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