Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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